How could I sugar-coat this task or render it more appealing? Option (1): slip in outrageous lies and see if my teacher notices / blushes / no longer requests diary. Probably not the done thing in Japan. Option (2): buy something with an attractive design from the 100-yen shop in the hope I will take pride in ensuring the contents live up to its cover. (At the risk of being blatantly sexist, experience of working in a secondary school suggests this is the kind of thing only girls do.)
And here it is: my new diary, with its "chirruped forest" logo. A catchprase which, astonishingly, yields two search results when googled.
It has quickly become one of my current favourite 'Engrish' possessions, possibly overtaking my 'Terrific power!' multi-purpose-claptrap storage case (see below), which gives me such a great sense of liberty whether I'm storing peanuts or carrying my electric toothbrush overseas. (I plan to submit the latter to the magnificent http://www.engrish.com/.)
Whilst on the subject of Engrish, here are two of the best T-shirt designs I have seen worn, in all likelihood innocently and obliviously, by Japanese (photos taken during previous visits to Japan):
from 2008, taken at Matsue Castle: "for 6[9,000] yen, esta Puta will let you take the shirt off her back".
from 2009, Kyoto: "Save the Planet. We are the World Banana Seven".
http://www.graniph.com/en/news/index.html, where I am a repeat customer. Their T-shirts make for memorable birthday presents.
Sure beats Frankie Says...